"Our Families and Past Lives"

Diba Ayten Yilmaz     January 2008

Translated by Filiz Altiparmak from Turkish to English

Along our spiritual journey we change perpetually our gender and oftentimes we experience being a parent.  And each time by being a parent we remember our prior experiences of parentness.

Another actual issue is that oneself begins to compare him/herself with the parents in the present lifetime. Most of the people have better understanding their own parents when they become themselves parents. With this understanding they start coming closer to their parents. What oneself feels for the own child he/she begins to compare and question the incident in the past, especially with the parent of the same gender.
People with physical/psychological childhood trauma may not want to get their own children.
Someone who grows up with very difficult parents may struggle to identify him/herself with them and show them any understanding. They may not forgive their parents.
As seen in most cases anger and frustration are strong feelings which make the person feel powerful. For this reason one might not want to give up this feeling, for most of the time the core for this feeling is a past life.

As I mentioned in my previous articles before we coming to the Earth-plane we choose our parents, siblings and all the other important people in our lives and as we make these choices there are significant factors to consider.  We choose our family members according our spiritual development as we continue on our spiritual way.

I want to give an example about a young female client of mine who struggled by making close friends and had difficulties expressing herself properly but surprisingly she had not the same communication problems with her husband and parents. She mentioned that she couldn’t communicate with strangers as easy as with her husband and parents.
She has a very authoritarian and bullying mother; the relationship with her father is very good despite their arguments, there wasn’t any negative polarization between them.

During a session in one of her previous past lives she found herself as a soldier who had been always en route and never considered of getting married. Looking back into his childhood he saw an ill-tempered mother who had constantly disputes with the father. Just to escape from them he had run away to become a soldier. He had deemed his parents as uneducated and felt misunderstood.  He had been offended and thought others wouldn’t understand him either therefore he never got married in that life.

After exploring the past life he was being asked to meet his mother at the spirit realm. He had been extremely stunned after realizing that his mother had been actually an “understanding, loving and mature spirit”. And he recognized his rude and insensitive father from this past life “as beautiful and a very shinny energy”. His father asked him cheerfully “we acted well, didn’t we?” As he was talking with his father something more stunning came up “as if they lived their lives just for me” he said. “I had been so angry at them and they did it all this things purposely. And I thought they didn’t care for me”. After reconciliation with his parents and during the evaluation with his spirit guide he got the message that he had been offended too fast and had withdrawn himself. It wasn’t necessary to be oppressed and get offended with the whole world.

“Life doesn’t only consist of parents” his guide said “Life isn’t always family. They are important, but at the end of the day you live your own life” he added “sometimes family might not understand one and others might support you”. His guide reminded her of one her former past lives in which he was searching always for his parents.

The young woman fathomed that she was working on the family concept over the few past lives and eventually she might be able to solve this issue in her present life.

After the session during the evaluation she said “her family had always priority in her life and no one could ever take their place”. In this way with the help of the past life regression session she got the message that she had to give the same importance also to others beyond her family.

Well, we take over different roles within a family. But sometimes we can’t go any further than to react to the individual roles, we simply got stuck in there. And by being attached into a situation means not being able to learn and develop. Such as the young soldier, who got offended with his parents and had been living isolated and unhappy for the rest of his life.

We have to go beyond complaining. It is vital remembering that we are shaping our life.

The family we are born in and how we get along with them is primarily important, but there are situations too we have to overcome on our own. Therefore the reason for our existence here is to develop understanding, learning and we have to succeed improving these skills on our way.

Love and Blessings,

Diba Ayten Yılmaz